Amateur Drinking Night.

So another year's almost over, and tonight all the amateur drinkers will be out for their annual piss-up. Keep in mind that they're rookies and they don't know any better. (But watch out for guys who think they're still as cool as they were in highschool.)

Happy New Year, folks.
Bret

The Dictionary.

Accute gravity attack: falling down while drunk.

Alcoholic aphasia: loss of speech control due to intoxication.

Allupin Cider: hint: try saying it out loud.

Angels' share: the whiskey that evaporates during the aging process.

Bar hop: travel to several bars (and get drunk, most likely).

Barley sandwich: beer for lunch.

Beeriness: drunkenness.

Behind the stick: serving drinks; working the taps.

Boozemosis: absorbing alcohol through the skin.

Bower: beer in the shower.

Brewski: a beer.

Brunk: drunk at brunch.

Buzz-on: mild intoxication.

Calling dinosaurs: throwing up.

Camper: a patron who camps out at the bar for the evening.

Canners: canned beer.

Cellar Smeller: somebody who only comes over when there's free booze.

Cooler: a chick drink.

Corn palsy: a hangover from drinking corn liquor.

Crooking the elbow: drinking.

Drinking tourists: amateur drinkers.

Elevenses: pre-noon whiskey break.

Friender: a bender friend.

Get drafted: drink too much draft beer.

Glow on: a mild buzz.

Green around the gills: hung over.

Growler: a half-gallon glass jug of draft beer.

Halfrack: a twelve-pack of beer.

Heavy wet: malt liquor.

Hydraulic sandwich: liquid lunch.

Instant margarita: a shot of tequila and a shot of lime juice, usually upside down.

Jag on: a serious buzz.

Kalsarikännit: drinking at home in your underwear, with no intention of going out (Finnish). Also, "pantsdrunk".

Laughing gravy: booze.

Leo Sayer: all-dayer (Cockney rhyming slang for an all-day bender).

Maintenance drink: one just to maintain the buzz.

Martians: martinis.

Mexican itch: the usual tequila/salt/lemon ritual (also known as "training wheels").

Mudslinger: any shooter that doesn't later properly.

Nerk: see "tequila shiver".

One Hundred Club: a shot of beer every minute for a hundred minutes.

On scholarship: when a bartender spends his time hitting on the clientele, so the other bartenders have to do all the work.

Piss-up: a big night out.

Placebo bottle: liquor bottle filled with water.

Poverty pack: six-pack.

Pre-gaming: having some drinks before you go out drinking.

Pre-hab: when you haven't quit drinking yet.

Prime up: have a few drinks in preparation for having a few more drinks.

Rally barf: throw up and then get your second wind (AKA puke and rally, AKA rally and boot).

Reaccomodated: thrown out of a bar.

Reebs: beers.

Redneck margarita: tequila + Mountain Dew.

Rendezbooze: When a group of people get together to drink.

Retox: off the wagon.

Road rocket: a beer or a mixed drink in a pop can; one for the road.

Schizzed out: burned out, trashed, done for the night.

Scorpion honey: tequila

Shaker: bartender.

Single-drinkathon: slow night.

Sink a few depth charges: have a few drinks.

Six-pack flu: hangover.

Skull: drink.

Slug: a shot.

Spacer: a non-alcoholic drink between rounds.

Tarbender: bartender.

Talent: good-looking customers.

Te-Kill-Ya: tequila.

Tequila shiver: the twist in your spine after a tequila shot.

Tie one on: get drunk.

Tilt a few back: have a few drinks.

Tispy: tipsy.

Training beer: lite beer.

Violent Seven: rye and 7Up.

Vodka pocket: that splash of pure vodka you sometimes find in the middle of a strong screwdriver.

Whiskey math: difficulty adding up your tab.

Whiskey sabbatical: the time it takes to get more ice.

Whisper drink: drink quietly, on the sly.

White lightning: moonshine.

Wobbly pops: drinks.

Wonder Wine: a godawful home winemaking kit.

Yukkaflux: the Saskatchewan tradition of soaking fruit in all your leftover hard liquor.

The Wheel of Doom - Version 1.0

My brother made this fiendish device for me a couple years ago. Every party I have, the Wheel comes out at midnight. Some... interesting shooters have been invented, let me tell ya. The initial plan was to put a recipe card under each of those copper tabs, but we decided right away that instant gratification was the only answer.

Last year my dad built version 2.0 for my brother. I'll have to see if I can score a picture of it in action.

(Don't ask about the duck.)

The Drunk Compendium.

Abbreviated
All in the rhubarb
All over the pond
Annihilated
Bagged
Bamboozled
Banana-faced
Basted

Battered
Beaned
Bent like an S

Binned
Bladdered
Blasted
Blind drunk
Blitzed
Blootered
Blotto
Bobo
Boiled as an owl
Bombed
Bonged
Bruced
Buried
Buttered
Buzzed
Canned
Cherry-merry
Clobbered
Cock-eyed
Cooked
Corked
Corned
Crocked
Damaged
Drizzy

Drunj
Drunk as a boot
Drunk as an old shoe
Drunk as a pair of fleas in a gin bottle
Drunk as a skunk
Drunk as two bears
Drunk as three bears
Drunk as four hundred rabbits
Drunked up
Drunker than a monkey
Drunky Brewster
Durnk
Faced
Falling down drunk
Flapjampered
Floppin'
Fried
Fubared
Fucked up like a dog's breakfast
Full of the Dutch courage
Gibbled
Glazed
Gone borneo
Gooned (to the gunnels)
Gorged out of your mind
Gorked
Greased
Half corked
Half cut
Hammered
Having a snootful
Hooped
Hooted
Hootered
Inebriated
In retox
In the bag

In the bin
In the grip of the grape
Intoxicated
In your cups
Jacked up

Jammered
Juiced up
Kentucky fried
Knee-walking drunk
Legless
Liquored
Lit
Lit as a stick of kindling
Lit up like the commonwealth
Locked
Loaded (like a freight train)
Loaded to the muzzle
Looped
Lost in the sauce
Lubricated
Mellow
Messed up
Moon-eyed
Mot asber
Mullered
Mungocious
Munted
Nimptopsical
Obliterated
Off the spool
Off the wagon
Oiled
One-eyed and staggering
On the bevy
On the night train
On the sauce
Ossified
Out of it
Out of your gourd
Overserved
Over the bay
Painted
Pasted
Pickled
Pie-eyed
Pigeon-eyed
Pissed as a lizard
Pissed as a newt
Pissed limber
Pissed (to the gills)
Piss-eyed
Pixellated
Plastered
Plowed
Polluted
Primed
Pruned
Prune-faced
Ripe as a brewer's fart
Ripped (to the tits)
Rum drunk
Schmammered
Schnockered
Screwed (to the wall)
Shellacked
Shitfaced
Shitfaced paralytico
Shit-housed
Shmammered
Skunked
Slayed
Slaughtered
Sloopy
Slopped
Sloppy
Sloshed
Smashed
Soaked
Soused
Squashed
Squiffy
Squished
Spiflicated
Stewed (to the gills)
Stinko
Swacked
Swizzled
Tanked
Thoed
Three parts gone
Three sheets to the wind
Tiddled
Tiddly
Tight
Tipsy
Tispy
Toasted
Top heavy
Torn
Totalled
Trashed
Trolleyed
Tubed
Tuned
Tuned up
Tweaked
Twisted
Wallabied
Washed
Wasted
Wastey-eyed
Wasticated
Wazooed
Whalin'
Wired for sound
Wrecked
Zonked
Zonkered
Zooed
Zoomin'

Check It Out:

Barman is up to 972 bars.

Pissed...

... as a lizard.

... to the gills.

... limber.

... as a newt.



Variation: piss-eyed.

Bars, Bars and More Bars. And Restaurants.

Inspired by Barman, here's a list of all the bars I've been to:

1. The Cascade - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
2. The Tradewind - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
3. The Avenues - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
4. Gentleman Jim’s - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
5. The Hideaway - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
6. The Smuggler’s Jug - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
7. Mister K’s - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
8. The Dispensary - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
9. Jody’s Roadhouse - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
10. The Brass Rail - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
11. The Showboat - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
12. The Panther Lounge - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
13. Casey’s Lounge - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
14. The Hidden Harbour - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
15. The Palace - Halifax, Nova Scotia
16. Woody’s - Halifax, Nova Scotia
17. Scoundrel’s - Halifax, Nova Scotia
18. Doc’s Corner - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
19. Secretary’s - Halifax, Nova Scotia
20. Peddler’s Pub - Halifax, Nova Scotia
21. The Cosmo - Moncton, New Brunswick
22. Ziggy’s - Moncton, New Brunswick
23. Your Place - Moncton, New Brunswick
24. The Junction Club - Moncton, New Brunswick
25. Spanky’s - Moncton, New Brunswick
26. Captain Dick’s - Cavendish, Prince Edward Island
27. Thirsty’s - Cavendish, Prince Edward Island
28. Gilligan’s Landing - Cavendish, Prince Edward Island
29. Myron’s - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
30. The Sternwheeler - Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
31. Mexicali Rosa’s - Halifax, Nova Scotia
32. Peake’s Quay - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
33. The Charlottetown Playhouse - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
34. The Graduate - Halifax, Nova Scotia
35. Club on the Green - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
36. Fat Tuesday’s - Moncton, New Brunswick
37. The Anchor & Oarhouse - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
38. O’Leary’s - Saint John, New Brunswick
39. Nipper’s - Saint John, New Brunswick
40. Legends - Saint John, New Brunswick
41. The Liquor Dome - Halifax, Nova Scotia
42. J.J. Rossi’s - Halifax, Nova Scotia
43. O’Toole’s - Halifax, Nova Scotia
44. Gargoyle’s - Saint John, New Brunswick
45. Pillar’s - Saint John, New Brunswick
46. Rocky’s Sports Bar - Saint John, New Brunswick
47. Pete’s Pub - Saint John, New Brunswick
48. The Seahorse - Halifax, Nova Scotia
49. The Apothecary - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
50. Lawrence of Oregano’s - Halifax, Nova Scotia
51. My Apartment - Halifax, Nova Scotia
52. Don Cherry’s Grapevine - Moncton, New Brunswick
53. Father’s - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
54. The Pump - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
55. Dooley’s - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
56. The Maplewood Room - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
57. Turkey Joe’s - St. John’s, Newfoundland
58. Boomerang’s - Saint John, New Brunswick
59. The Student Asylum - Saint John, New Brunswick
60. The Aquarius Beverage Room - Saint John, New Brunswick
61. Brian’s - Saint John, New Brunswick
62. Chez Cherie - Saint John, New Brunswick
63. Merrill’s - Halifax, Nova Scotia
64. Breaker’s - Halifax, Nova Scotia
65. The Captain’s Cue - Halifax, Nova Scotia
66. Luvafair - Vancouver, British Columbia
67. The Cecil - Vancouver, British Columbia
68. Fogg N’ Suds - Vancouver, British Columbia
69. The Blarney Stone - Vancouver, British Columbia
70. The Town Pump - Vancouver, British Columbia
71. The Marble Arch - Vancouver, British Columbia
72. Kits Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
73. The Rage - Vancouver, British Columbia
74. The Lamplighter - Vancouver, British Columbia
75. The Gate - Vancouver, British Columbia
76. The Brickyard/Samoo’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
77. My Father’s Mustache - Halifax, Nova Scotia
78. The Yale - Vancouver, British Columbia
79. Graceland - Vancouver, British Columbia
80. The Purple Onion - Vancouver, British Columbia
81. The Wild Coyote - Vancouver, British Columbia
82. Studebaker’s - Burnaby, British Columbia
83. The Kingshead Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
84. Mars - Vancouver, British Columbia
85. The S.F.U. Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
86. The Reef - Point Roberts, Washington
87. Breakers - Point Roberts, Washington
88. Carlos & Bud’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
89. The Railway Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
90. Pat & Willie’s - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
91. Bar None - Vancouver, British Columbia
92. The Brickyard - Victoria, British Columbia
93. The Sticky Wicket - Victoria, British Columbia
94. The Pic Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
95. Yuk Yuk’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
96. The Palladium - Vancouver, British Columbia
97. Maverick’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
98. Evolution - Victoria, British Columbia
99. The Limit - Victoria, British Columbia
100. The Shark Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
101. The Rose & Thorn - Vancouver, British Columbia
102. The ANZA Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
103. DeNiro’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
104. The Grand Garage - Vancouver, British Columbia
105. The Yaletown Brewing Company - Vancouver, British Columbia
106. The North Burnaby Inn Showroom - Vancouver, British Columbia
107. The Side Door - Vancouver, British Columbia
108. Club 212 - Vancouver, British Columbia
109. Hooters - Vancouver, British Columbia
110. T.J.’s Lounge - Point Roberts, Washington
111. The Fairview Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
112. The Atlantic Trap & Gill - Vancouver, British Columbia
113. Richard’s on Richard’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
114. The Arts Club Theatre - Vancouver, British Columbia
115. Babalu’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
116. The Commodore Ballroom - Vancouver, British Columbia
117. Subeez - Vancouver, British Columbia
118. The Morrissey - Vancouver, British Columbia
119. The Mango - Vancouver, British Columbia
120. The Lennox Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
121. The Fox & Firkin - Vancouver, British Columbia
122. Bridges on the Waterfront - Vancouver, British Columbia
123. Fred’s Uptown Tavern - Vancouver, British Columbia
124. The Roxy - Vancouver, British Columbia
125. The Dover Arms - Vancouver, British Columbia
126. The Sierra Grille - Vancouver, British Columbia
127. Riley’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
128. The Cambie - Vancouver, British Columbia
129. The Element - Vancouver, British Columbia
130. The Irish Heather - Vancouver, British Columbia
131. Bimini’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
132. Sonar - Vancouver, British Columbia
133. ? - Vancouver, British Columbia
134. The King Henry VIII Pub - Calgary, Alberta
135. The Embassy - Calgary, Alberta
136. The Cactus Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
137. Six Rivers Brewery - Eureka, California
138. John Barleycorn - San Francisco, California
139. The International Cocktail Lounge - San Francisco, California
140. Zeki’s Bar - San Francisco, California
141. Fadó - Seattle, Washington
142. The Bohemian - Seattle, Washington
143. The Granville Room - Vancouver, British Columbia
144. ? - Vancouver, British Columbia
145. The Bluenose - Toronto, Ontario
146. The Argyle - Halifax, Nova Scotia
147. Ginger 62 - Vancouver, British Columbia
148. No.5 Orange - Vancouver, British Columbia
149. Section 3 - Vancouver, British Columbia
150. Glowbal - Vancouver, British Columbia
151. The Avalon - North Vancouver, British Columbia
152. The Jolly Alderman - Vancouver, British Columbia
153. Soho - Vancouver, British Columbia
154. The Loose Moose - Vancouver, British Columbia
155. The Jolly Taxpayer - Vancouver, British Columbia
156. Malarkey - Vancouver, British Columbia
157. Durty Nell’s Cellar - Vancouver, British Columbia
158. The Sylvia - Vancouver, British Columbia
159. The Halifax Alehouse - Halifax, Nova Scotia
160. The Economy Shoe Shop - Halifax, Nova Scotia
161. The Jupiter Cafe - Vancouver, British Columbia
162. The Harp & Thistle - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
163. Cowboy’s - Calgary, Alberta
164. The Wolf & Hound - Vancouver, British Columbia
165. Brandi’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
166. The Racquet Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
167. Tonic - Vancouver, British Columbia
168. The Doghouse - Vancouver, British Columbia
169. The Royal - Vancouver, British Columbia
170. Courtnall’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
171. Jake’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
172. The Penthouse - Vancouver, British Columbia
173. The Bayside Lounge - Vancouver, British Columbia
174. Pepita’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
175. Doolin’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
176. Pogue Fadó - Halifax, Nova Scotia
177. The Gahan House - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
178. The Fox & Fiddle - Vancouver, British Columbia
179. Panama Jack’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
180. Two Parrots - Vancouver, British Columbia
181. Fluid - Vancouver, British Columbia
182. Camacho’s Cantina - Los Angeles, California
183. Cafe Tu Tu Tango - Los Angeles, California
184. Shooters - Mission Viejo, California
185. Market St. Brewery - San Diego, California
186. The Rainbow Bar & Grill - Los Angeles, California
187. The Fox & Hounds - Los Angeles, California
188. The Fountainhead Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
189. The Central City Brewing Company - Surrey, British Columbia
190. Mesa Luna - Vancouver, British Columbia
191. The Waterfront Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
192. The Buffalo Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
193. The Thirsty Duck - Halifax, Nova Scotia
194. Niche - Halifax, Nova Scotia
195. The Bitter End - Halifax, Nova Scotia
196. Buffalo Bill’s - Whistler, British Columbia
197. The Longhorn - Whistler, British Columbia
198. El Furniture Warehouse - Vancouver, British Columbia
199. The Red Room - Vancouver, British Columbia
200. Pub 340 - Vancouver, British Columbia
201. Soho - Vancouver, British Columbia
202. Malone’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
203. The Pit Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
204. The Urban Well - Vancouver, British Columbia
205. Balthazar - Vancouver, British Columbia
206. The Caprice - Vancouver, British Columbia
207. Shenanigan’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
208. Steamworks - Vancouver, British Columbia
209. Taf’s Cafe & Gallery - Vancouver, British Columbia
210. Vancouver Rowing Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
211. Earl’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
212. DV8 - Vancouver, British Columbia
213. Shine - Vancouver, British Columbia
214. Akwa - Los Angeles, California
215. Maloney’s - San Diego, California
216. Henry’s Pub - San Diego, California
217. Rockin’ Baja Lobster - San Diego, California
218. Moose McGillicuddy’s - San Diego, California
219. The Field - San Diego, California
220. Honeybee Hive - San Diego, California
221. Good Luck - Los Angeles, California
222. The Dresden - Los Angeles, California
223. The Cat & Fiddle - Los Angeles, California
224. Rime - Vancouver, British Columbia
225. Elwood’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
226. River’s Reach - New Westminster, British Columbia
227. The Arch - Vancouver, British Columbia
228. Waazubee’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
229. Vibe - Vancouver, British Columbia
230. The Fish House - Vancouver, British Columbia
231. Crush - Vancouver, British Columbia
232. The Old Triangle - Halifax, Nova Scotia
233. The Macaroni Grill - Vancouver, British Columbia
234. Skybar - Vancouver, British Columbia
235. Club Tokyo - Vancouver, British Columbia
236. Rain - Seattle, Washington
237. Red Robin - Tacoma, Washington
238. F.X. McRory's - Seattle, Washington
239. Howl at the Moon - Seattle, Washington
240. Fenix Underground - Seattle, Washington
241. J and M Café and Cardroom - Seattle, Washington
242. New Orleans - Seattle, Washington
243. Johnny Fox's - Vancouver, British Columbia
244. Republic - Vancouver, British Columbia
245. Maxx Fish - Whistler, British Columbia
246. Amsterdam Cafe - Whistler, British Columbia
247. Sidebar @ M - Vancouver, British Columbia
248. Roxy Burger - Vancouver, British Columbia
249. The Azure Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
250. The Plaza - Vancouver, British Columbia
251. St. James Gate - Moncton, New Brunswick
252. O2 - Moncton, New Brunswick
253. Paramount - Moncton, New Brunswick
254. Brown's Restaurant and Bar - Vancouver, British Columbia
255. Ceili's - Vancouver, British Columbia
256. Whine-O's - Vancouver, British Columbia
257. Nelson Café - Vancouver, British Columbia
258. Palomino's - Vancouver, British Columbia
259. Yorkville Bar & Grille - Toronto, Ontario
260. Jack Astor's - Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
261. Shebeen - Vancouver, British Columbia
262. The Bengal Lounge - Victoria, British Columbia
263. Howard Johnson's hotel bar - Vancouver, British Columbia (don't ask.)
264. The Cottage Bistro - Vancouver, British Columbia
265. Café Crepe - Vancouver, British Columbia
266. Vallarta Grill - Vancouver, British Columbia
267. The Pound - Vancouver, British Columbia
268. Red Square - Vancouver, British Columbia
269. The Coppertank Grille - Vancouver, British Columbia
270. The Charlatan - Vancouver, British Columbia
271. The Bourbon - Vancouver, British Columbia
272. Comox Street Long Bar & Grill - Vancouver, British Columbia
273. Brockhouse Restaurant - Vancouver, British Columbia
274. Delilah's - Vancouver, British Columbia
275. Cafe Deux Soleils - Vancouver, British Columbia
276. Libra Room - Vancouver, British Columbia
277. Burrard Bridge Marine Bar & Grill - Vancouver, British Columbia
278. Caffé Barney - Vancouver, British Columbia
279. The Winking Judge - Vancouver, British Columbia
280. Crime Lab - Vancouver, British Columbia
281. The Tipper - Vancouver, British Columbia
282. Yagger's - Vancouver, British Columbia
283. The Corner - Vancouver, British Columbia
284. Hugo's - Vancouver, British Columbia
285. The Alibi Room - Vancouver, British Columbia
286. Olympia Bar & Grill - Vancouver, British Columbia
287. Moe's Deli & Bar - Montreal, PQ
288. Speakeasy - Vancouver, British Columbia
289. PHATter - Vancouver, British Columbia
290. Cinema - Vancouver, British Columbia
291. Hamburger Mary's - Vancouver, British Columbia
292. The Edge - Vancouver, British Columbia
293. BBQues - Vancouver, British Columbia
294. Rogue Wetbar - Vancouver, British Columbia
295. The Calling - Vancouver, British Columbia
296. Peckinpah - Vancouver, British Columbia
297. The Beaver & Mullet - Vancouver, British Columbia
298. Smiley's Public House - Vancouver, British Columbia
299. The Mill Marine Bistro - Vancouver, British Columbia
300. Hell's Kitchen - Vancouver, British Columbia
301. Don Guacamole - Vancouver, British Columbia
302. Score - Vancouver, British Columbia
303. The Den at Barclay - Vancouver, British Columbia
304. The Keefer - Vancouver, British Columbia
305. Cosca - Vancouver, British Columbia
306. Novo Pizzeria - Vancouver, British Columbia
307. Hog Shack - Vancouver, British Columbia
308. The Black Frog - Vancouver, British Columbia
309. Boneta - Vancouver, British Columbia
310. Prestons - Vancouver, British Columbia
311. Back 40 - Vancouver, British Columbia
312. Johnny's Tap House - Vancouver, British Columbia
313. Uva - Vancouver, British Columbia
314. Au Petit Chavignol - Vancouver, British Columbia
315. Original Joe's - Vancouver, British Columbia
316. Metropole - Vancouver, British Columbia
317. The Charles Bar - Vancouver, British Columbia
318. La Belle Patate - Vancouver, British Columbia
319. El Taco - Vancouver, British Columbia
320. Nuba - Vancouver, British Columbia
321. Coco Rico - Vancouver, British Columbia
322. The Rickshaw - Vancouver, British Columbia
323. The Pint - Vancouver, British Columbia
324. The Tap & Barrel - Vancouver, British Columbia
325. Academic Public House - Vancouver, British Columbia
326. The Hastings Warehouse - Vancouver, British Columbia
327. The Park at English Bay - Vancouver, British Columbia
328. Vinyl Retro Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
329. Wings - Vancouver, British Columbia
330. Hidden - Vancouver, British Columbia
331. Moose's Down Under - Vancouver, British Columbia
332. Purple Olive Grill - Vancouver, British Columbia
333. Avanti's Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
334. St. Augustine's - Vancouver, British Columbia
335. Toby's - Vancouver, British Columbia
336. The Legion - Vancouver, British Columbia
337. Falconetti's - Vancouver, British Columbia
338. EXP - Vancouver, British Columbia
339. The Butcher & Bullock - Vancouver, British Columbia
340. Biltmore Cabaret - Vancouver, British Columbia
341. Elixir - Vancouver, British Columbia
342. Lobby Lounge (Fairmont Hotel) - Vancouver, British Columbia
343. American Cheesesteak Co. - Vancouver, British Columbia
344. The Blackbird Public House - Vancouver, British Columbia
345. The Donnelly Group VIP Hospitality Suite - Vancouver, British Columbia
346. The Vancouver Club - Vancouver, British Columbia
347. Mahony & Sons - Vancouver, British Columbia
348. Burgundy - Vancouver, British Columbia
349. The New Oxford - Vancouver, British Columbia
350. Red Card - Vancouver, British Columbia
351. La Mescaleria - Vancouver, British Columbia
352. Joe's Apartment - Vancouver, British Columbia
353. The Capitol - Vancouver, British Columbia
354. Shamrock Alley - Vancouver, British Columbia
355. The Portside Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
356. FiveSixty - Vancouver, British Columbia
357. Incendio - Vancouver, British Columbia
358. Deacon's Corner - Vancouver, British Columbia
359. The Waldorf - Vancouver, British Columbia
360. Buckstop - Vancouver, British Columbia
361. Three Brits - Vancouver, British Columbia
362. Pho Central - Vancouver, British Columbia
363. Studio Records - Vancouver, British Columbia
364. Distillery - Vancouver, British Columbia
365. The Flying Pig - Vancouver, British Columbia
366. Salt - Vancouver, British Columbia
367. The Vancouver Fish Company - Vancouver, British Columbia
368. Chill Winston - Vancouver, British Columbia
369. The Devil's Elbow - Vancouver, British Columbia
370. Jang Mo Jib - Vancouver, British Columbia
371. Factory - Vancouver, British Columbia
372. Pat's Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia
373. The Whip - Vancouver, British Columbia
374. The Projection Booth - Vancouver, British Columbia
375. The Fox Cabaret - Vancouver, British Columbia
376. Liberty Distillery - Vancouver, British Columbia
377. SandBar - Vancouver, British Columbia
378. Charqui - Vancouver, British Columbia
379. Hub - New Westminster, British Columbia
380. The Castle - New Westminster, British Columbia
381. The Cove - Vancouver, British Columbia
382. Five Sails - Vancouver, British Columbia
383. Heritage Grill - New Westminster, British Columbia
384. Miku - Vancouver, British Columbia
385. Darby's - Vancouver, British Columbia
386. Colony Bar - Vancouver, British Columbia
387. La Taqueria - Vancouver, British Columbia
388. Burgoo - Vancouver, British Columbia
389. Dublin Calling - Vancouver, British Columbia
390. The Met - New Westminster, British Columbia
391. Fable Diner - Vancouver, British Columbia
392. Yolks Breakfast - Vancouver, British Columbia
393. Davie Dosa Company - Vancouver, British Columbia
394. Long Table Distillery - Vancouver, British Columbia
395. Elephant & Castle - Vancouver, British Columbia
396. The Paddlewheeler - New Westminster, British Columbia
397. Dime Roadhouse - Vancouver, British Columbia
398. Donnellan’s - Vancouver, British Columbia
399. The Living Room - Vancouver, British Columbia
400. The Hilton at Metrotown Lobby Lounge - Vancouver, British Columbia

401. Our Town Cafe - Vancouver, British Columbia
402. Romer's Burger - Port Moody, British Columbia

403. Frankie G's - Delta, British Columbia
404. Chancho - Vancouver, British Columbia

405. Tequila Cocina - Vancouver, British Columbia

406. Dublin Down - Vancouver, British Columbia

407. Alimentaria Mexicana - Vancouver, British Columbia

408. Mangos Kitchen Bar - Vancouver, British Columbia

409. Joey - Vancouver, British Columbia

410. Maxine's - Vancouver, British Columbia

411. Brass Fish - Vancouver, British Columbia

412. Bacchus - Vancouver, British Columbia

413. Lions Pub - Vancouver, British Columbia

414. Kelly O'Bryan's - New Westminster, British Columbia

415. The Auld Triangle - Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
416. Whistler's Pub - Stewiacke, Nova Scotia

417. The Hardbean Brunch Company - Port Moody, British Columbia

418. Taps & Tacos - Port Moody, British Columbia

419.  Rocky Point Spirits - Port Moody, British Columbia

420. The Ellis - Vancouver, British Columbia

421. Georgie's Local Kitchen & Bar - New Westminster, British Columbia

422. Di Beppe - Vancouver, British Columbia

423. Tugboat Annie's - Richmond, British Columbia

424. R&B Brewing Company - Vancouver, British Columbia

425. Rozzini's - New Westminster, British Columbia

426. Maple Leaf Lounge - Vancouver, British Columbia

427. STMR.36 - Fredericton, New Brunswick

428. Ice - Montreal, Quebec

429. Monzo - Vancouver, British Columbia

430. The Legion - Port Moody, British Columbia

431. Wings - Port Moody, British Columbia

432. Marcello - Vancouver, British Columbia

433. The Wise Hall - Vancouver, British Columbia

434. Brickhouse - Vancouver, British Columbia

435. The Cultch - Vancouver, British Columbia

436. East Van Brewing Company - Vancouver, British Columbia

437. Barra Gitano - Vancouver, British Columbia

438. Elwood's - Vancouver, British Columbia

439. 

The ones with the question marks are, sad to say, lost to history.

Bar Tip #2.

When you're bellied up to the bar and there's people waiting behind you, get your damn drink and get out of the way.

A Tip of the Hat.

A few of my favourite bartenders, waiters, waitresses, bouncers, doormen and DJs over the years:

John Henaberry, Tick Watts, Barbie McGregor, Deana Bugden, Sue Bell, Sandra Skeffington, Denise Bonnyman, Steve Chaisson, John Flood, Rob Mackenzie, Scott Ferris and Rachel Whittaker, all from the Avenues/Myron's in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island.

Chris Sawyer at Doc's Corner, also in Charlottetown.

Top-Forty Gordie at the Tradewinds, Charlottetown.

Veronica at Rocky's in Saint John, New Brunswick.

Diane Churchill at Apothecary's (AKA the Dip), in Charlottetown.

Spiros at Luvafair in Vancouver.

Lisa & Lisa at the Playhouse, Charlottetown.

Fritz at the Blarney Stone, Vancouver.

Linda at the Marble Arch, Vancouver.

Travis at Henry's Pub in San Diego.



And a lot more whose names escape me at the moment.

(I've also been remiss in not crediting Professor Ron Baker from the University of Prince Edward Island, for inspiring all of this in the first place, way back in 1987.)

Drunk as...

... a skunk.

... a monkey.

... three bears.

... a pair of fleas in a gin bottle.

... a boot.

... an old shoe.


Which ones am I missing here?

Bar Tip #1.

I've decided, as a public service, to start a series of pointers on bar etiquette, since every time I go out lately, there's some rookie who has no idea how to behave in a bar. Without further ado:

#1: The doorman is your friend. If there's a lineup, he's the guy who can get you in. And pissing him off won't accelerate that process. So don't be an asshole - stay calm, make some small talk, and don't ask him every ten seconds if you can go in now. Act like an adult, in other words.

And if some drunk college girl starts hassling the guy, roll your eyes or shake your head as if to say, "what a dumb bitch." Even if she's with you.

Hell, especially if she's with you. Otherwise you'll be waitin' outside all night while she argues with the doorman.

An Important Life Lesson.

You've probably heard it before, and you might even think it's an old wives' tale. But ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I'm here to tell you - never, ever mix the grain and the grape.

Trust me on this.

Vomitorium.

I'm not much of a puker, but sad to say, it wasn't exactly an... uncommon occurrence in my college days. Not too surprising, then, that there's such a wealth of vomit-related terms in booze culture:

Barf.
Blow chunks.
Blow cookies.
Blow groceries.
Calling dinosaurs.
Call for Ralph.
Charf.
Chunder.
Divulge dinner.
Drive the porcelain bus.
Eat backwards.
Flash the hash.
Have a Harley Earl.
Heave.
Laugh at the floor.
Lose your lunch.
Order yogurt.
Puke.
Ralph.
Recycle your groceries.
Return your doughnuts.
Reverse chug.
Reverse gears.
Scream at the ants.
Sell a Buick.
Shout at the floor.
Sing soup.
Spew chunky.
Spill your groceries.
Talk to Ralph/Earl/Beulah on the big white phone.
Technicolor scream.
Technicolor yawn.
Throw doughnuts.
Toss your cookies.
Toss your tacos.
Upchuck.
Woof your cookies.
Yak.
Zuke.



Your cheery thought for the day.

10 Guaranteed Hangover Cures:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

A Little Culture.

Friends of Mine.

I think these are pretty much self-explanatory:

Alkie
Bar squid
Bar trash
Booze hag
Booze hound
Dipso
Elbow bender
Fish
Flagon dragon
Fucked-up bunny
Juice pig
Liquor pig
Liquor stain
Lounge lizard
Lush
Party animal
Party monster
Pay-day drunk
Piss tank
Pounder
Rummy
Soak
Soaker
Sot
Sponge
Swill belly
Swill pig
Toper
Wastoid
Weekend warrior
Wino



Did I miss anyone?

Multiculturalism.

How to raise a toast in 16 different languages:

Cheers (English)
Prosit (German)
Salut (Italian)
Cin Cin (Italian)
Skal (Swedish)
Oogy Wawa (Swahili)
Kan Bei (Japanese)
Na Zdorovia (Polish)
Naz Dar (Hungarian)
Mabuhay (Turkish)
Salud (Mexican)
Genatzt (Armenian)
Sláinte (Irish)
Sanda bashi (Pakistani)
A sua saude (Portugese)
Serefe (Turkish)


Because, hey, you just never know.

Almost Forgot...

... to post this photo of my pride and joy. Took me a year and $2500* to build it, but it was all worth it in the end.

Everybody should have one, don't ya think?

*Copper is really expensive.

In the Beginning...

So this is the inaugural post. 'Spose I should start with something introductory, then:

Many years ago, after the earth's crust cooled and dinosaurs still walked the earth, I started a Dictionary of Booze as a term paper for a linguistics course. It's grown into a 3-inch binder over the years, which has been affectionately dubbed the Big Book of Booze. There's been a bit of talk since then about trying to publish it in some format, but it's mostly been drunk talk, so you can imagine how productive that's been.

Anyhow, it finally occurred to me tonight that a blog would be a good way to at least get this shit organized, finally. So here we are: the Big Blog of Booze.

And since booze and music go so well together, here's a few of my favourite drinkin' songs to kick this off:

"The Dirty Glass" (Dropkick Murphys)
“Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers” (ZZ Top)
“Broken Whiskey Glass” (Jason & the Scorchers)
“Drank Like a River” (Whiskeytown)
“Gin Guzzlin’ Frenzy” (Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper)
“Have a Drink on Me” (AC/DC)
“I Got Loaded” (Los Lobos)
“If Only You Were Lonely” (The Replacements)
“Lager & Ale” (Kim Mitchell)
“Lost Weekend” (Beat Farmers)
“Margaritaville” (Jimmy Buffett)
“Night Train” (Guns N’Roses)
“One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer” (John Lee Hooker)
“Red Red Wine” (Replacements)
“Roadhouse Blues” (The Doors)
“Shape I’m In” (ARC Angels)
“Tequila” (The Champs)
“Tequila Sunrise” (The Eagles)
“This Drinkin’ Will Kill Me” (Dwight Yoakam)
“Too Drunk to Dream” (Whiskeytown)
“Whisky Heaven” (Fats Domino)
“Why Don’t We Get Drunk & Screw?” (Jimmy Buffett)
“You Must Not Be Drinkin’ Enough” (Don Henley)
“Closing Time” (Semisonic)
“Home for a Rest” (Spirit of the West)
“Sally MacLennane” (the Pogues)
"Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" (Dropkick Murphys)
"Drink Up and Be Sombody" (Merle Haggard)
"Picasso's Last Words" (Paul McCartney & Wings)
"Cold Gin" (KISS)
"Ain’t Got no Money to Pay for this Drink” (George Zimmerman and the Thrills)
“Wine, Wine, Wine” (Electric Flag)
“Don’t Come Home A Drinkin’” (Loretta Lynn)
“Daddy and the Wine” (Porter Waggoner)
“I Drink” (Mary Gauthier)
“Sloppy Drunk” (Jimmy Rogers)
“I Ain’t Drunk” (Lonnnie The Cat)
“It Ain’t Far to the Bar” (Johny Tyler and His Riders of the Rio Grande)
“Rum and Coca Cola” (Andrew Sisters)
“Who Will Buy the Wine” (Charlie Walker)
“Buddy Stay Off the Wine” (Betty Hall Jones)
“Whiskey You’re the Devil” (Clancy Bros and Tommy Makem)
“I Drink” (Charles Aznavour)
“What’s on the Bar” (Hank Williams Jr.)



Bottoms up.